Show Me the Love

Show and share the love.

On Momdaze it’s difficult to think creatively, write about current issues or delve deep into my psyche and bring forth something worthy of discussion. With this in mind, I bring you humour at the beginning of the week.

The day will come when I, as a parent, am told something I was totally unprepared to hear by my child’s teacher.

Until that day comes, I feel it is only right, if not my duty, to share one of those moments that I had as a teacher which had me giggling and then cringing.

This story is almost folklore in the school that it happened at over ten years ago. Innocence met a bunch of hidden truths and learned a valuable lesson.

Show and tell (a.k.a news time, show and share, sharing time, news, etc.) takes place at schools across the globe every day of the school calendar. Kids bring in something they’d like to talk about in front of their peers. Sometimes they just share news of current events from their own lives. It fosters confidence in oral language skills and speaking in front of an audience.

The kids were gathered on the carpet and two had already had their turn this particular morning. Adam brought a paper bag to the chair at the front and was ready to start.

After greeting everyone he pulled $500 in notes from inside the bag.

‘This is my Dad’s money. He had it hidden under his side of the bed at home. I saw him put it in there and he told me he won it on the horses. He asked me not to tell Mum because she thinks he just loses all the time.’

While the children oohed and aahed at the large amount of money being waved in front of them, my eyebrows were trying to come back down from hiding in my hairline.

Adam finished his turn and I promised to look after it until home time.

I don’t know if there has ever been another time in my life where I have been responsible for $500 that doesn’t belong to me. I knew being mugged was unlikely but wasn’t sure what to do with the money to keep it safe.

It was decided to keep it at the office until the end of the day and then give it directly to the parent.

Mum came to pick up Adam that day and the moment he saw her he burst into tears.

I told him not to worry and that I would explain everything to his mum.

He said, ‘I’m not worried about getting into trouble with Mum. I’m only upset because Mum is going to be so cross with Dad. I bet she’ll probably take his money away and ground him from the horses for a long time.’

Show and tell taught me a lesson that day. I’m pretty sure Adam’s dad learned something too.

To find a new hiding place, possibly?

Image from: here.

Love is the Pits

Making a pit stop for love.

It is customary that my boys and I make at least one trip to the school playground each week after the bell. On our way to the playground Almost 6 tells me how the boys launch themselves from the rail at the top of the slide and land with a thump on their bottoms about half way down. There’s also reluctant confessions about the chasey games they play at break times. While Almost 6 has had ample time to monkey his way across the obstacle course throughout the course of the day, this little pit stop allows Just 3 to tire himself out: climbing, sliding, swinging and jumping and sometimes falling.

Last week I had the opportunity to sit for a couple of minutes while the kids did their thing. I watched from a distance as Just 3 wanted to do everything himself. A little boy, probably 6 or 7, shouted back to his mum, ‘watch me, Mum!’ While turning to smile at the other mother in that knowing way, I thought to myself, ‘make sure you keep watching otherwise you’ll get dragged over hot coals by your son if you don’t see his amazing accomplishment.’ He proceeded to get himself up onto the top of the monkey bars as I’ve watched Almost 6 and thousands of other children do many-a-time. I willed her to show enthusiasm and wide-eyed astonishment when he mastered the manoeuvre he was attempting. ‘Please act like it’s the first time you’ve ever seen such a feat in all your life,’ I prayed. Ok, honestly, I didn’t pray but these little things are so important to our little ones….well I’m sure you get my drift.

Boy then draped his legs over the bar in front of him, placed his hands strategically then lowered his body down between the bars and let go. Hanging upside down, his hair stood on end and his shirt slipped down over his face. ‘Look, Mum! I did it!’ he said triumphantly as he tried to pull his shirt back down (or up depending on which way you want to look at it).

“OW! MY PIT how to categorise S! MUM, IT”S HURTING MY PITS! CAN YOU GET ME DOWN? IT’S KILLING MY LEG PITS!

The other mum’s on her way over while I start to laugh out loud. Leg pits? Well I never!

It’s all I can do to stop chuckling between breaths. I guess in theory this would be a good name for the backs of our knees. We have armpits after all. Why not leg pits? They do get sweaty and they have a kind of hollow to them. Best put deodorant on them after showering in future.

As for the other mother, I’m not sure if she knewmy laughter. I best be careful or Mums will start realising their kids are just fodder for my next piece of writing. I guess I won’t have to worry about being invited for a play date though!

If you’re stuck for things to write about, can I suggest you take your kids to a playground. It’ll be a win/win. Your kids will burn off some extra energy and you just never know what you’ll hear while you’re there. Maybe just don’t laugh too loud.

‘Boys are it.

Chuck ’em in the pit.

All the girls will

kiss them on the lips.’

The pit of love.

Image from: here.

Talk About Love

I love to talk.

As some of you aware I’ve nicknamed Mondays ‘Momdaze’ now.

I’m normally in somewhat of a fog and need a giggle or two to get me through the day. It seems that Just 3 was aware of this fact this morning after we had dropped Almost 6 at school. We arrived home and I was about to commence my happy dance after getting Just 3 out of the car.

He crossed his arms, put on one of his best grumpy faces and stated,

‘I not talking to you anymore Mum.’

Allow me to clarify at this point that I had done nothing to be in receipt of this kind of threat.

My response, ‘Oh well! It’s going to be a pretty quiet day then.’

2 second pause……..’Mum.’

This was my first giggle for the morning. It will be a pretty quiet day here regardless. Hopefully, though, the grumpies will disappear and we can recommence smiles and giggles for the rest of the day.

I’d love to chat but I’m off to find more funnies. I’ll talk to you later. Promise!

Image from: here.

Love the Logic of Kids

I love a logical connection.

Ok folks it’s Monday and I’m not one that likes to exist in a maudlin state. So I’m going to be seeking out the humour to bring you at the beginning of each week. My hope is to leave you smiling on Momdaze. Some will feature from the mouths of my own lovelies, some will be stolen from work and others pilfered from the public at large.

Some people read magazines at the supermarket checkout. I love observing and listening to snippets of people’s lives. Call it eavesdropping or whatever else you may. I refer to it as express lane escapism.

Recently I overheard a conversation between a mum, and what I assumed to be, her son. He would have been between 3 and 4. It went a little something like this:

‘Mum, vegetable oil comes from vegetables doesn’t it?’

‘Yes, they take the oil from lots of vegetables and put it into bottles.’

‘So peanut oil would come from peanuts?’

‘Yes, that’s right.’ (Mum looks pretty proud of her son).

‘And so that means orange oil is squeezed from oranges and olive oil is made from olives?’

‘Uh-huh.’

At this point child begins to cry with such instant force that he attracts the attention of not only his mum. Once he’s in his mother’s reassuring arms he begins to calm enough to ask between sobs, ‘So that means they squeeze all the oil out of babies to make baby oil?’

Image from: here.