Love in Hindsight III

In Post 1 and Post 2 of this series I looked back on my time as a pre-parent teacher and then as a parent in the present day.

While teaching and parenting are hugely important aspects of my life, they don’t define who I am.

It is interesting to note (to me at least) when I started blogging what information I added to my gravatar. ‘Mum’, ‘wife’, ‘sister’ and other titles were provided. But who am I?

Over the past two years I have seen myself on a course of discovery, trying to locate me and my passion. I won’t bore you with the long list of endeavours and ideas that floated through my mind.

Since the middle of last year I had thought about starting a blog but knew very little about what it entailed. On January 1 this year I decided that there was only one way to find out and that was to just do it (to borrow the famous Nike slogan). I could blog from home and it wouldn’t take me away from my young family. Yes! It was the perfect solution and it would be great. By choosing the theme and focus of my blog I would also be able to remind myself that there is love in the everyday moments of life with littlies.

Aiming high, which is always what I seem to do, I set out to write a post a day. Mum would probably say, ‘biting off more than you can chew.’ Yes, Mum, you’re right-as always (tongue in cheek).

Starting Free Little Words was the best thing I have done just for myself for a very long time. It is also the most time-consuming undertaking I have attempted in a very long time.

I don’t know about anyone else reading this but blogging, over the course of a week, has me sitting at my laptop or catching up on the reader on my phone for approximately 16 hours. That’s an ENTIRE DAY! Now, I don’t mean to shout at anyone but that’s a shedload of time.

Any new ‘thing’ that we choose to do generally takes time to learn and grow accustomed to. While I’m all for learning, there is a limit to the amount of ‘me’ I’m able to invest.

The one thing I am truly grateful for and would have given my left arm to rediscover was that I love writing. As the people closest to me would testify, I can talk underwater with a mouth full of marbles. I have a tendency to be a jabber jaws though and my mouth moves faster than my brain can handle. I trip over my words and get tongue tied, particularly when I’m nervous or anxious.

So writing is the ticket for me. Being able to think then write and order my words and erase when needed, is just plain awesome. Add to that, my experience with children and the love of rhyme and rhythm and I feel a natural affinity towards picture books.

So blogging has led to more writing but there just isn’t enough hours in the day to do everything. My manuscripts and ideas lay languishing on the bench at the end of every day, crying out for more words to join the fray.

So it has come down to this – my last post here on Free Little Words. I didn’t want it to sound so final even though it does.

There’s two young boys, who won’t be little forever, wishing that their mum would be slightly more present when she’s present. I owe them that much. Then when the lights are out and those eyelashes flutter as they dream sweet dreams, the words can spring forth to the begging blank page.

I leave you now with just one promise.

My journey on WP is not complete. I will be back; I’m just not sure when that might be. When I do, I hope you’ll welcome me back.

This mum/wife/sister loves to write.

♥ Kelly

 

Image from: here.

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26 thoughts on “Love in Hindsight III

  1. I am without words at the moment – except I can fully understand why you are closing up shop. You are a wonderful writer and your words and ideas must be given the chance to blossom and you, my friend, must take them that extra mile – or two – to see that they do indeed reach their potential. I hope we can still keep in touch – you will be greatly missed but you will be welcomed back with open arms – always. I guarantee it:) xxxxxxx Kimberly

    • I am truly sorry to render you speechless, if only for a moment. I intend to do all of those wonderful things you have said. Whether I get anywhere or not is yet to be seen but I must try. Getting rid of me is a little like trying to get rid of nits but I hope I’m not as much of a pest as they are. Will email you today.

      Keep that beautiful, inspiring, emotion-filled poetry flowing. 🙂

  2. I sincerely hope this sabbatical is a short one. I look forward to your return, after the successful launch of your children’s book. In the meantime, put your foot down on that Special K WP domain name. Best of luck! 🙂

    • Thank you, Brian, from the bottom of my heart. Returning is already in the planning stages – just might not be ‘visible’ for a while. It will actually be difficult to stay away but stay away I must. Will check out registering that domain today and thanks for thinking of that-I wouldn’t have. I’m going to need a whole load of luck so, once again, thank you.
      Until then, keep on pounding!

  3. Nnnnoooo! Come back, already! I am a little bit shocked. But at the same time I understand. Those boys are precious, they need their Mummy. I really love this last set of posts. Clearly, we are on similar wavelengths. So I do understand the juggle on your time, the conflicting needs in family life. Kelly, I wish you well – ah! to think you could be that Mum standing next to me at the park… this blogging thing has got me talking to strangers everywhere I go. Keep talking to other Mums, we need the conversation to continue…

    • Family comes first has always been my motto with a snippet of time reserved for myself and my pursuits each day. I never thought blogging would give me so much and I certainly didn’t expect to be submitting to publishers this year or any year, really, in the foreseeable future. Plans are made and things change but I’ve always thought I can do everything, and do it well. Getting older means I am also becoming more realistic in my expectations of myself and others.
      The conversation will continue – I’ll just be talking to myself and blank pages for a while. I hope, for you, blogging is something you can manage to continue and that I’ll see you when I return. I can imagine the topics we’d cover while the kids played together in the park. I might make it to Sydney (if I remember correctly, that’s where you are) on a whirlwind book tour and meet you to give you a copy personally. Maybe in my dreams but just maybe…..

      • Kelly, please drop me a line if you do visit Sydney, but if you are bringing a copy of the book; it will be my shout for coffee and cake! Those more realistic expectations you mention are one of the best things about growing up. Enjoy your new ventures, I will have everything crossed for you.

      • Rachel, coffee and cake sounds fantastic. I will definitely do that even if I’m there without a book. We are planning a trip to Melbourne later this year, maybe Sydney will be next!
        Thanks for the loads of luck. I think I’ll need that much and then some.

  4. Every best wish to you. I hope all goes well for you. Anyone who blogs regularly will know how much time it takes up and how personal it is. Sometimes somethings got to give. Hopefully you will return to WP in the future. It has been a pleasure making your acquaintance and reading your posts and comments. You will be missed.

    • Thank you, Tric. I’m going to miss your posts immensely while I’m away. It will be difficult to stay away actually but I must endure WP silence to give my words a voice in my books. I truly hope you continue with your writing here and you will be one of the first people I reconnect with when I return. Boy am I going to have a whole lot of reading to do on your site then!

  5. I came here to catch up on reading your blog because I’ve been MIA lately and you always have something compelling to say and WHAM! you are writing about the same issues I’ve been struggling with. I don’t know how others can post regularly (some several times a day), parent/work and still have time to write a book. For me it’s been impossible to do all three AND do them well, something suffers. I haven’t done any editing to my novel in over a month but I have taken a time out (almost completely unplugged) to spend time with my family and it was wonderful. I plan to spend more time with them and finish editing my novel so I’ll be cutting back on WP as well. I completely understand and respect your decision, Kelly. Best of luck to you. I will miss seeing your posts.

  6. I don’t know if my writing here is compelling, Melissa, just my reflections and thoughts really. I was mistaken for thinking it would be ‘easy’ to type something and send it off into the world. I should have known better. What I didn’t expect was for blogging to tune me into writing and pursue it as anything more serious than an idea. I’ve always wanted to publish something but, hey, doesn’t 90% of the population? Unplugging is an awesome feeling. I tucked my kids in with a wider smile and a warmer heart last night, knowing that I’ve taken the pressure off myself, to stop trying to be everything to everyone. I also felt like I was saying goodbye though – albeit temporarily – to a friend, not knowing when I’d see them again and I don’t even like the word goodbye. In reality it’s a multitude of friends, like yourself. I had noticed you not posting and will miss your future posts too. Until I return, promise to get that manuscript out soon and give it some love. I’ll promise to do the same. Give the kids some extra love too. ♥♥♥

  7. Oh no! I had only just found you. I totally understand though. Blogging takes up way more time than I realised. It’s not just the writing and answering comments, that’s not so bad. But it’s keeping on top of the blogs that you follow and it is important to do that. Give back to the community if you will. I’m currently trying to find a new way to manage things so that I can keep going but who knows what the future holds. See you when you return!

    • I feel awful for flitting off but thanks to Jogging Dad for connecting you and I and, yes, that’s what this community is all about. I couldn’t post and not read.
      I do hope you are here when I start my new blog. I’ll be sure to reconnect with you then.

  8. i totally understand this kelly, and as we the readers can see, you are a writer and are meant to be one. enjoy your family and all of the other parts of your life. keep writing, and we’ll see you when you return, refreshed and anew ) best, beth

    • Thank you so much, Beth, and I truly hope you enjoyed your stay in Oz. It was lovely seeing Perth and surrounds through your eyes.
      I’d like to think I’m a writer-in-the-making and I look forward to seeing you here soon. In the meantime, continue to be your wonderful, good self. ♥ Kelly

  9. Pingback: Blogger Quote of the Week | Melissa Janda – the Buzz on Writing

  10. It took me far to long to figure out this was your swan song, but I guess that proves that I, too, suffer from your ‘mom-with-too-much-on-her-plate’ malady! Ironic that blogging gives us a platform for our thoughts and writing, yet steals that writing time away from us. I so feel your pain. And I’m in pain that my on-line doppelganger is absent for now. But you’ll be back when you can, right? We need to bounce ideas off one another! And I need your reminders to see love everywhere. Hope you’re embracing yours.
    Best, Jennifer

    • I don’t know about swan song, Jennifer. I feel a little bit more like the duckling. Not so much of the ugly-just young with a lot to learn. I miss being around these parts so much but my family has benefitted almost as much as my writing-off-the-WP-platform has. This doppelganger will be back in the saddle when the time is right. I guess I’ll know when that is, when it is. Until then, I hope you see reminders in the everyday-ness of love and that life is being kind to you.
      Kelly ♥

      • So nice to hear from you and that things are going well! “Reminders in the everyday-ness of love” – how magical, especially considering that’s a theme that keeps popping up in my life lately and that I’m trying desperately for. Thanks for being the voice I needed to hear today. Enjoy your family and write on!

    • Hey Don, your way with words always amazes me- so few that say so much. Very much alive and kicking. Punching out plenty of words still, but to a far more critical audience. Looking forward to a return to WP sometime in the future. Until then, I hope you continue to wow your audience with your charm, wit and all-round charismatic personality.
      K ♥

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