Top 10 Faux Pas of Kids’ Writing

Kids make people laugh on a daily basis. They’re witty without understanding why which makes it all the more thigh-slappingly humorous. Faux pas and writing gaffes by younger students are, by far, the most hilarious.

faux pas

The Top 10 list includes innocent misspellings of everyday words that turn sentences into somewhat inappropriate expressions. All words have been spelt correctly except the funny word so you won’t need a translator. The italicised sentence are my thoughts upon reading these beauties.

  1. The hores galloped through the rain. (horses) I hope they’re wearing their wellies.
  2. When we were driving we had to follow the sins. (signs) Are you driving to hell?
  3. We had to wait for three nits. (nights) I wouldn’t wait for ONE.
  4. My tits got a hole in them when I fell over. (tights) Do new ones cost a lot?
  5. I shared my Cock with my friend, Samantha. (Coke) Not touching this one, other than to say it was a gorgeous girl of 5 who wrote this one.
  6. Daddy’s shit was blue and white striped. (shirt) Did it come out like toothpaste?
  7. My mum is not a moaning person. (morning) Maybe she prefers sleep ins.
  8. The race cars went fart around the track. (fast) That would make them noisy and smelly.
  9. The lion was really big butt I wasn’t scared. (but) It’s not that end that scares me. It’s the other one.
  10. Two great examples for the same word that I could not separate :

Dad likes eating penus. (peanuts) I need penise. (pennies). No comment needed as they are rib ticklers all on their own.

Teaching children aged between 4 and 13 for near-on two decades has taught me a thing or two.

  • The English language is far too complicated for any one system to work in assisting students to learn how to read and write.
  • When reading back what a young student has written it pays to have them by your side to decipher. This ensures you avoid any… ehem….’misunderstanding’.
  • Practising and perfecting a poker face is essential.
  • Kids always know exactly what it is they are trying to say/write even if the listener/reader hasn’t a clue.
  • Universities should provide, as part of teacher training, a crash course in translation of kid-speak.

If you’ve any other doozies to share please add them below for other readers to giggle over.

A big shout out to Stuff Kids Write for providing me with laughs.

Kelly ♥

© 2013 Kelly Hibbert, all rights reserved.

Image from: here.

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36 thoughts on “Top 10 Faux Pas of Kids’ Writing

  1. this is cute. I have some of these tucked away in the many boxes I have which keep going from house to house. This does, however, remind me a rather new phenomenon – auto spell check! My i-phone has changed some of my words into real doozies and I am afraid I (or anyone else for that matter) cannot hide behind being a child – though some adults still are, but we will not open that can of wombs – oops I mean worms!!! 🙂

    • Thanks for the laugh. We all have a bit of kid inside of us. I don’t think we can blame the inner child either for I-phone indiscretions. ‘Apple made me do it’ is much more mature. 🙂

  2. My kids school actually encourages ‘creative’ spelling for the Kindergartners as a way to encourage writing without all the stress of ‘Did I spell it right’. Some of the things I have seen come home, while not real words, are pretty funny. Thanks for the post!

    • I think it’s great that we focus on getting the ideas out and not on the correctness of each individual word.
      The kids can almost always read back what they have written.

  3. This reminds me of when I was younger making up a song for my dad. The last line was “then I hit him with a rubber cock”. As it had to rhyme with clock. My dad burst out laughing, as did I… How funny being hit with a rubber chicken!

    I stopped laughing when he painstakingly explained that cock was another word for a man’s bits. I was too embarrassed to talk to him the rest of the day!

    • That is simply hilarious. I still haven’t stopped chuckling over this one.

      The fact that you were both laughing for such very different reasons is too funny.

      That song could have been a No 1 hit!

  4. I love this. I needed the laughs thank you so much. My son once wrote a letter to the president as part of a school project and said “I hope I can grow up and do a job like you do. I want to protect the cuntry from going to warts.” I still have it on my fridge.

  5. I miss being in the he classroom sometimes. I was an aide in special ed for years and we would keep a book of the funny things they would say too.
    Thanks for the smile 🙂

    • Happy to provide smiles. While I will miss the kids when I no longer teach I’ll still be around them forever so I’m sure there’ll be many more giggle moments in the future.

      Special ed is an area I’ve done some work in. They provide some of the best laughs ever.

  6. Love it! You really do need to be in a kids’ frame of mind when reading their work. I can’t remember the sentence from this particular doozy but it was something like this… “I cunt do it” (can’t) I’m surprised at how often I get this one at school!!

  7. These were hysterical! Kids can say and spell the darndest things. But so can teachers! Both my parents are teachers and they have told me some side splitting things. This was a fun post

      • It was kind of awful growing up because my mom actually substituted in my classes. And she would never call on me for answers when I had my hand raised and knew them…only when I didn’t have a clue! lol

      • I haven’t taught my eldest’s class yet for a whole day but I have taken them for German (1 hour lessons). Definitely don’t want to be seen as playing favorites. I have his class again on Monday. He still calls me Mum not Mrs. Good times!

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