I Love You Both Equally

equalI love both my kids equally.

Out loud, behind closed doors and between my own ears.

They deserve nothing less.

I find it difficult to imagine what life would be like if I had a favourite even if it were only a thought and shared with no-one on the entire planet. That would still affect the way I parent each child. Favouritism would sneak through the cracks even if I tried to stop it.

How can you compare two different people? My boys are chalk and cheese. We had one for Mum, one for Dad and stopped right there (not one for the country-sorry). The eldest is the male equivalent of me in features and temperament. Our youngest is Daddy’s boy through and through. There are times when we see the similarities between them but there are far more differences.

Having said all this I find the youngest easier to ‘deal with’. Maybe it’s because he is second and he has learnt a lot (good and bad) from his brother. He worked out early on what happens if you draw on walls, pick your nose or use your manners. It doesn’t mean that he hasn’t grafittied, used his index finger to remove a boogie or forgotten to say ‘please’. He’s just learnt faster because he’s seen his dad and I communicate with the eldest and picked up the cues.

My youngest is more easy going compared to his sibling who is orderly, precise and a tad high strung. My love for them remains equal though because their personality traits don’t decide what portion of love they get. In fact it’s not even love divided by two. It’s love times two. My one heart is enough to fill both of theirs.

I will never have a favourite.

Mum = Love x 2 in this house.

Image from: here.


12 thoughts on “I Love You Both Equally

    • It is hard when the second or subsequent child comes along. Guilt is just part of the mother territory I think. You are doing the most natural and loving thing with your baby and I’m sure you’re still providing the love, maybe just not the attention, your eldest needs (when she needs it which will be when you sit down with your newborn) for a short while anyway.

  1. In the tiny quiet part of my brain I suspect my little boy is my favourite, just as Daddy’s little girl is his favourite. Call it gender-coding or because he’s my second (and last) child, but my son does have an ability to twist me round his little finger in a way that my daughter doesn’t. I love them equally in very different ways and they’re both capable of wonderful and awful behaviour. But my son is my little boy and probably always will be. But shhh don’t tell anyone. I was raised in a house with definite favouritism and it really affected the relationship I have with my sister, so I work VERY hard to make sure they never suspect anything.

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